My Kinship with Jonathan Edwards

I was listening to Marsden's "A Short Life of Jonathan Edwards" audiobook recently and noticed many similarities between Jonathan Edwards and myself. Of course, I don't mean we are similar in things such as intellect, spiritual disciplines, or theological understanding; Edwards obviously far surpasses me in these. However, I notice that we are very similar in our spiritual experiences and struggles. Particularly we share a similar conversion experience. Perhaps the word "conversion" is not quite right, perhaps "awakening" would be better. Both Edwards and myself were brought to fully strive for spiritual sanctification because of sickness in our youth.

Edwards, when he was sixteen, was suddenly stricken by a deep sickness that brought him face to face with his own mortality, and his need for God's grace. He later said that it was as if "God had dangled me over the pit of hell". This experience would shape the rest of his spiritual walk and ministry, leading him to preach the difference between believing God and having faith in God. He later described this as knowing about honey and it's viscosity and various other specifics of it's existence, and yet not ever tasting it's richness and sweet flavor. "Thus there is a difference between having an opinion, that God is holy and gracious, and having a sense of the loveliness and beauty of that holiness and grace." (Edwards in his sermon "A Divine and Supernatural Light")

My similar experience, familiar to those who know me, happened during my senior year of high school. One night in December I became so sick I collapsed in my bathroom and was rushed to the hospital. Although I might not describe it as God dangling me over the pit of hell, he certainly dangled me over the pit of a wasted life. My life up to that point would leave me in the category that Paul described in 1 Corinthians 3:13-15: "each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire". That's right, it is possible to be saved from eternal damnation by the grace of God and suffer loss. This is what I would have been had I died that December night; one save as through fire. After recovering I devoted myself to being a Christian that could say on the day I actually die, as the apostle Paul did, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing" (2 Timothy 4:7-8).

As Jonathan Edward and I both learned, I hope you will learn to love Christ's appearing.